Wizard of the Hood

Album: Dog Beats

Year: 1992


One time, the ICP with the shit for you and your boys to say "fuck yeah!" to
Yo J, kick some of that shit about the Wizard and all that
Drop a psycho beat and go on and rap, bald-headed fuck

Aw shit homeboy, you should of seen me
I was flipped at the party, drank a fifth of MD
Straight passed out on this mother's bed
Seven cans of brew going through my head
Dreaming, I was sipping on Faygo
In my dope house and here comes a tornado
Heh, I can't run nowhere
Cause the whole damn house was spinning through the air
And don't laugh just yet
--("Your ass landed in motherfucking Oz.")
And here comes a three and a half foot pimp
With a blue zoot suit and a mack daddy limp
Yo, I got a grip on my weapon
Cause this midget motherfucker and his boys are stepping
--("Oh my, look at the witch!")
--("You crushed and killed that wicked old bitch.")
And they're saying that I'm doomed
Cause I killed some ho that rides on a broom
Fuck this, I'm going back to where I stay
And I'm walking down the yellow brick alleyway

(We're off to see the Wizard)
(See the world, see the world)(x2)
Drop them motherfuckers all the way to Delray

--("Well, go on motherfucker!")
Now I'm roaming just like basehead
Everybody know just where the alley led
And don't say you don't know
Which way to go
Yo, there goes the Scarecrow
I ain't playing this bullshit no more
So I whip out the nickel plated double-four
Best tell my ass how to get back
Or I'm going to blow the straw out your fucking head
--("You wanna see the wizard?")
Fuck yeah, I do
--(Get me off this pole and I'll come with you.")
You know the Wiz
--(Yeah, I used to roll for him.")
--("Then he ganked me out a G,")
--("Now I got a bullet for him.")
Now me and the crow was walking on bricks
Spitting and cussing and holding our dicks
Thinking, damn, this ain't how the movie go
I ain't seen one motherfucking rainbow
Ain't a fresh pair of kicks in the land
Just what you thought
--("There goes the Tin Man".)
How to get to the wizard?
--("What the fuck?")
--("I ain't saying shit until you oil me up.")
I don't see any motherfucking oil, bro
--(Oil me up with a forty of Red Bull.")
Heh, just like the book said
Tin Man was stumbling like a crackhead
Old-ass rusted out metal
But we was on our way to see the Wizard of the Ghetto

(Somewhere over the rainbow)
Fuck up, bitch!
Damn, this ain't Kansas, ho!
This is the Southwest motherfucking Ghetto Zone, bitch!
So pick your skank ass up and you and Toto get the fuck on!

Yeah, we've come a long way
(Drop them motherfuckers all the way to Delray)
And I'm a wonderland story book tourist
Gripping that .44 we coming up to the forest
Anything could be out there
Lions, tigers, and maybe a bear
(Hoods and hoodlums and thieves, oh my)(x3)
I'm a kick somebody in their fucking eye
Don't fuck with me at a time like this
I'll send out a bullet, guaranteed won't miss
So I just move and the hooks are flying
--("Then come and buck with the fucking Lion!")
--("I want rings, chains, any kind of gold.")
Or what?
--("Or I'm going to let this 9 unfold!")
Man, fuck this, come back to Delray
There you can rob motherfuckers every day
Crackheads, hoes, whatever you can name
Catch all the rich ones coming out the ball game
So finally we was at the castle
And with the guards, we got no hassle
They all just got the fuck out our way
I guess even in Oz they know of Violent J

(We're off to see the Wizard)
(See the world, see the world)(x2)
Drop them motherfuckers all the way to Delray
Fuck a Wizard

Yo, where's the motherfucking wizard stay
--("Who wants to know?")
I wanna word with him at gun point
Cause there's no place like Detroit
--("Welcome to the Wizard's kingdom.")
--("The Wizard of the Ghetto as you say.")
--("Welcome to the Wizard's kingdom.")
--("Sorry motherfucker, this is where you'll stay.")
--("Scarecrow, you ain't shit to me.")
--("And the Lion ain't shit but a snack for three.")
--("Tin Man, don't take me for a sucker,")
--("I'll chew your ass up and spit bullets out, motherfucker!")
We let it rain
Serving out slugs to his motherfucking brain
Then I stepped back cool and calm
Because the Tin Man was dropping cluster bombs
Everybody knows about car jacking
So me and the fellas went home macking
Jumped in a smooth-ass ride
Drop top Geo says "Wiz" on the side
Pimped it back to the hood where we came from
And that shit was fun
Next thing I knew I was back at the party
Got up and was fixing to tell everybody
But then I just let it pass
Cause I know they'll laugh at my drunk ass

Drop them motherfuckers all the way to Delray (repeats)

(various "your mama" jokes)

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