Lyrics:

In order, for one to metamorphosize
From one's inner self being projected out into the astral plane
And to re-materialize into an inanimate object or another living organism
For that matter is entirely and absouletly impossible, however

If I was your tv I'd be like, look at me
If I was shooting star I be like shooooom
If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like hell nah
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like ahh
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like, fuck
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin like sup
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the DOC I'd be like "man this is bull shit"
If I was your tires on your car I'd be like...
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like ahh fuck
If I was a balloon I'd be like....
If I was Alyssa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say, point 103
If I was a richie ass bitch I'd be like, um ok
If I was Spin magazine I'd put a mirror on the cover
and be like fuck us and all our readers, even this motherfucker
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then
I'd be like thuuummmp
If I was your tounge I'd be hatin' your teeth I'd be like
Ah why do you always bite me every time we eat?
If I was a chair I'd be like sit here
and if I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like shhh quietly
Iif I was a price tag I'd be like you ain't buyin me
If I was a fresh DJ I'd be like...
If I was Jam Master J I'd be like...
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like...
If I was Barry White I'd be like what up ya'll
I I was a nipple in the cold I'd be like...
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like...
If I was a rain drop I'd just be like....
and I was an axe in your neck I might say chop

(Chorus)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(if I was if I was but I'll never be)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(if I was if I was but I'll never be)
If I was if I was boy your killing me
(if I was if I was boy your killing me)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(If I was if I was but I'll never be)

If I was a Faygo at one of our shows
I'd fly through the air into an ocean of juggalo's
If I was Andre the giant this is how I'd be rappin'
If I was Father MC I'd be like yeah what happened
If I was a mirror I'd find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
if I was a Slider I'd slide out your butt,
I'd be floating in the toilet looking at you like what?
Iif I was a pilot I'd be like air traffic control
If I was John Denver I'd be like ahhhh
If I was a switch I'd be like flip me yoohoo
If I was a London cop car I'd be like...
If I was Chewbacca I'd get me a fresh ass fade
If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like fuck yall I'm still paid
If I was a stop sign I'd just be like stop
If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip hop

(Chorus 2x)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(if I was if I was but I'll never be)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(if I was if I was but I'll never be)
If I was if I was boy your killing me
(if I was if I was boy your killing me)
If I was if I was but I'll never be
(If I was if I was but I'll never be)