Lyrics:

What's that, though? The Zipper
The Zipper? It looks raggedy and rickety as fuck
Why don't you go on it, man, and tell us what it's like?

Well this lame local fair comes to town every year
With the same lame rides, as if anybody cares
But you still go, 'cause you know, ain't shit else to do
So you smoke a couple joints and head up with your crew
You walk around, and the carnies try to call you out
"Come on, throw a dart at the balloons, what you got?"
You just walk by knowing (uh huh) the prizes ain't shit
Even the [?] bears got the cheap-ass stitch
But what's this? In the corner, the Zipper, a new ride
But it's not new; it looks old as fuck, but still you slide
Over to it, 'cause anything different's worth checking out
You're the only one in line. You strap in, and any second now...

It's the Zipper! (Woo)
It's wonderful! (It's incredible)
Fantastical! (Woo)
Astounding! (Wow!)
Amazing! It's...
The Zipper! (Woo)
It's wonderful! (It's incredible)
Fantastical! (Woo)
Astounding! (Wow!)
Amazing!

And it's over, complete ecstasy for a minute (Ah)
You can't fucking believe it. Right away, you admit it
You start rantin' and raving about how fuckin' live it was
It blew your fucking mind, and you still feelin' the buzz
You run over to grab another ticket from the booth
Because you found euphoria, and you know it's the truth
Now a couple of your friends grab a ticket as well
But they don't understand; the ride looks weak as hell
But you guys get in line, and you're running with the quickness
You're extra geeked now because your homies 'bout to witness
This magical wonder ride of rusty old parts
But they can fucking feel it too, as soon as it starts. It's...

The Zipper! (Woo)
It's wonderful! (It's incredible)
Fantastical! (Woo)
Astounding! (Wow!)
Amazing! It's...
The Zipper! (Woo)
This shit is wonderful!
This shit's incredible!
This shit is breathtaking!
Amazing!

And like that, it stops. You're all three goin' crazy
It took you through the heavenly gates; this shit's amazing
Now you're buying up as many tickets as you can
Back in line, it's only your crew, and you don't understand
How come everyone ain't ridin' it? How come the fair is hidin' it
Way back in this corner spot, when that shit is
This time, your whole crew's gettin' on it for a spin
You're fucking doing backflips ready for it to begin
You give the tickets to the carnie, and you all pile on
Everybody's mad excited. You all got your smile on
Then the carnie says to you, "Three time's a doozie
Read the sign: 'Ride three times, and your life you lose,' Eh?"

The Zipper! (Woo)
It's wonderful! (It's incredible)
Fantastical! (Woo)
Astounding! (Wow!)
Amazing! It's...
The Zipper!
This shit is wonderful!
This shit's incredible!
This shit is breathtaking!
Amazing! It's...
The Zipper! (Woo)
It's wonderful! (It's incredible)
Fantastical! (Woo)
Astounding! (Wow!)
Amazing! It's...
The Zipper!